Morning Clarity
by SapphireOcean
Summary: In which Hide jumps the gun, Touka's conflicting feelings make her heck everything up (almost), and Kaneki is a Gentle Bean. [Complete]


This is the sequel to Accidental Rendezvous, featuring inner turmoil, betting, cuddles and shoujo sparkles. Not necessarily in that order and the last one isn't really true.

Fun fact this sat for months in my Tumblr drafts, and it got so long (for Tumblr, in my odd mindset) that I realized I had to post it here. I really didn't expect my longest fic so far to be about a rareship in a fandom that I'm still kind of a n00b in, but so it goes. Hope you get some fun out of this pile of OT3 feels; I sure did.

(you have no idea how badly I wanted to call this The Morning After the Night Before. just google that plus Shelly Burman ok)

* * *

Touka wakes to distant birdsong. Either the birds are especially cheery this morning, or she left her balcony door ajar.

She doesn't move right away, instead letting her awareness expand at its own pace. Bedsheets crumpled in one hand. Knees tucked to her chest (she stretches out leisurely with a small yawn). Bumping into Kaneki's hand.

She opens her eyes and sits up, stretching her arms high above her. With a content sigh, she looks at Kaneki. He's spread-eagle on his back, mouth slightly open, breathing deeply. She stifles a laugh and shakes her head, finally noticing what a small space he'd left her; it's a wonder she hadn't fallen out of bed.

She eyes the floor _. Did Hide fall out?_

Just as she's wondering where such a silly thought came from, the memory of last night whaps her upside the head and knocks her back into the pillow.

 _That wasn't a dream? But he's not here, so it must have been._

But no, the morass of feelings is bubbling up inside her again, carrying with it the pressure of Hide's body at her back and the scent of Kaneki's shampoo. Quietly, she groans, face in her hands. _It's too hot, I have to move…_

She gets out of bed, glancing back to see Kaneki still sleeping (her lips quirk, _lazy boy_ ), and goes out to the balcony.

A gentle breeze is swirling, and the birds are still singing. The air feels like ice on her hot skin at first and she shivers, clad in one of Kaneki's old tees, but soon the heat dies away. That helps a little, but her mind is still full of thoughts that she doesn't want.

It's a nice summer morning. A good day, Touka thinks, for a run. Not that she needs to clear her mind or anything. So decided, she moves about changing into her running clothes: purple tank-top, her favorite pair of stretch pants, new-ish sneakers she'd forgotten about until spotting them now.

Kaneki sleeps on. The clock reads 8:30. Not so lazy then, given last night, and _for heaven's sake Touka it's Sunday._ She keeps forgetting that not everyone is an early riser like she (usually) is.

She opens the door– and yelps as she collides with a paper bag.

"Whoa, sorry, Touka!"

A hand grasps her shoulder–that voice, it's Hide's– and they both wobble for a few precarious seconds before Touka finds her balance and backs up to let him come in.

"Thanks. Jeez, really sorry," Hide says, chuckling. "That was close. I have bad timing, I guess, and–"

She's about to hiss at him for being too loud when he spots Kaneki and shifts to a whisper. "Right, right, he's still asleep."

"Well, if he hasn't woken up by now," Touka mutters.

"Yeah, he can sleep through a tornado."

That spears her heart because of _course_ Hide would know that, maybe he's woken up with Kaneki before and– _what the fucking hell brain I hate you_

"Anyway." He waves the bag in her face, cutting off her plan to headbutt the wall. "I went to Tsukiyama's!"

The name alone makes her mouth water, never mind finally recognizing the bag: pink and white scallops and swirls, _Tsukiyama's_ scrawled in a font that's probably in the dictionary under "egotistical."

"But that's–" _expensive_ , she was about to say. Read: _you can't afford it_. Which is rude. Maybe he can.

"It's a special occasion." He places the big reverently down on the counter and beckons her over. "I'm glad you're up, actually," he says quietly. "My master plan had been to make breakfast for you guys– I checked your fridge, you have enough eggs and stuff– but then I thought 'maybe Touka doesn't want you messing up her kitchen, you should ask' so what d'ya say, can I make breakfast?"

He speaks quickly, keeping his voice low the whole time. She takes a moment to be sure she understood. "You… wanted to make us breakfast."

He nods, smiling. "Special occasion," he says again.

"That's nice of you," she starts, _but what special occasion?!_ "But, Hide…"

"Oh." He snaps his fingers. "You were heading out, right? Nice day for a run."

She abruptly remembers what she's wearing and feels exposed, suddenly. Hide hasn't seen her in her workout clothes before. His automatic once-over ( _he doesn't mean anything by it_ ) has her fighting off heat from her cheeks. She crosses her arms, attempts and fails a frown. A deep breath…

"Breakfast sounds good," she says offhandedly, though she looks straight at him. "I'll run later."

His eyes light up (she nearly winces from the jolt to her heart). "Okay! If you're sure. I don't wanna screw with your routine."

In response, she bends to untie her sneakers. Something is strange about this situation, but she'd be lying if she said she wasn't happy Hide came back, and she's really trying not to lie to herself (in general, but also now specifically).

"Cool."

She hears the fridge door open and shut, the same with some cabinets as she drops her shoes on the mat by the door. Then she straightens, stretches high and long, rising on her toes; something pops satisfyingly in her back.

"Hey, do you…?"

She turns, still tip-toe, to see Hide looking at ( _watching_ ) her, eyebrows raised.

"…Want coffee," he finishes, whirling to face the cabinets (not fast enough to hide a blush). "I can make coffee. You have it."

"Mmhm." The warmth of stretched muscles follows a different warmth down her spine. It's distracting ( _Why did I do that, what am I thinking_ ). "Yes," she says, something clear. "Can I help with anything?" She steps toward the counter as she asks, watching him move as if he knows her kitchen.

"If you really want to," he says, smiling briefly. "But the plan was for you to relax. Unless you're worried I'll wreck your place."

"You're not the type," she murmurs. Kaneki has told her of Hide's tendency to tidy up Kaneki's apartment on occasion.

"Oh? And how would you know that?"

She allows a small smile. "I have my ways."

"I'm sure you do."

Her smile widens. "I know how to recognize fellow clean freaks."

"Damn, my cover's blown." He ducks down behind the counter, mug in hand.

A beat later and he hasn't reappeared, and then the joke hits her. She catches a laugh behind her hand. More spills out, but she leans up and over as far as she can and loudly whispers, "Your secret's safe with me."

"Thank god for that." He pops back up, sets the mug down, and gets back to work. "Okay, go cuddle Kaneki or something so I can feed you two before it's noon."

"Am I distracting you," she deadpans. _Distracting? I'm_ flirting _with him!_

"Despite appearances," he says to the coffee maker, "I'm not great at talking and cooking at the same time." He smiles over his shoulder. "I wanna do this right."

"Fair enough." She's already heading back to the balcony instead of to the bed, her realization making her head start to spin. Except it's not a realization so much as an admittance, which despite her efforts to be truthful with herself is still hard to take.

Her forearms dig into the railing as she leans forward, head bowed, trying to breathe. What she and Kaneki have is _good_ , but this whole Hide thing could wreck it. That isn't what she wants. Never mind that Kaneki doesn't know anything yet, that she's could act like everything's when Kaneki wakes up; the guilt would still eat at her. (Last night's decision to wait until everyone awoke so they could _talk_ has long since been forgotten.)

 _Damn it._

She rests her forehead on the cool iron. She actually _likes_ Hide, more than as a friend. What a shitty time to realize it. (What she truly wants is so deep down that it isn't even an inkling.)

"Touka…?"

Despite the small shock of his voice, she doesn't flinch. She straightens and turns.

Hide stands on the threshold with two mugs of coffee. "I… There was chocolate, in the cabinet. So I made you mocha, because I kn– thought you'd like it."

It's her favorite, and there's only one way Hide could know that. But she refuses to think about it right now, just holds her hand out for the mug and says, "Hide, what is it?" much more tiredly than she wants to. She very carefully keeps her fingers from touching his, and steps back quickly to let him onto the balcony.

"Nothing, nothing," he says with a small chuckle. One side of his mouth turns up. "It's just… you served me coffee. Er, Kaneki and I. When we first met. And now, well." He gestures with his mug to hers, his smile broadening. "The tables have turned."

She feels a smile coming on, so she hides it in her mug, taking a grateful breath. A sip fills her mouth with perfectly balanced swirls of dark chocolate and coffee, along with a splash of cream. Probably the best mocha she's ever tasted.

When she opens her eyes they meet his expectant gaze. "It's good," she says blandly.

One eyebrow goes up.

"Really good."

He's smiling again. "That's all I'm getting. Okay," he says, pausing for a drink. "I saw your face. I know what you really think."

In lieu of answering, she takes another sip. It's delicious enough to relax her, and she leans back against the railing, the mug in both hands now. She glances at Hide, who's enjoying his own mug and mirroring her stance. The sun inches out from behind a cloud, warming her back. He's looking absently down at his shoes in between sips, so she feels safe enough to observe him. His hair is sticking out on the side facing her, and she can see darker roots here and there. Maybe he likes the contrast, or maybe he doesn't know.

 _What would he look like with dark hair?_

She goes back to the mocha, wincing inwardly about her train of thought. Thinking about such small things, it's almost like they're already toge–

"Touka?"

 _oh god he saw me staring fuckfuckfuck_

"There's something I wanted to ask you about."

She makes an agreeing noise, forces herself to actually look at him.

He's not looking at her. "Or talk to you about, you know. I don't know." He chuckles, shaking his head. "It's kind of weird, so I'm just gonna…" He turns completely to face her, and for some reason her heart is beating much faster even though he isn't any closer. "I was trying to wait for Kaneki to wake up but," a flashed smile, "patience isn't my strong suit, I guess, and–"

"Please just tell me," she says with a sigh. _Before I do something stupid, like kiss you._ She drains her mug and sets it on the patio table, then turns back to him.

"Yeah. Okay. Um." He does the same, depositing his mug wobblingly. He takes a breath, shuts his eyes and says in a half-shout, "I like you, Touka!"

It's so amazingly _shoujo_ that she almost laughs, except she can't really breathe properly. She wraps her arms around herself, suddenly chilly. "I like you too. You're nice. So what?" she bites out, painfully aware of what he actually means.

He does laugh, a short surprised burst. "I mean, not just as a friend. I… I _really–"_

 _"_ Damn it, Hide! What the hell are you playing at? I have a boyfriend. Kaneki. _Your best friend._ I'm not–" _interested? Liar. "_ I'm not a cheater. Is that what you really think of me? I'll leave him just because you're, you're _nice_ to me?" She meant to keep her voice down but forgot halfway through, so she modulates to a fierce whisper, words pouring out of her despite the hurt and confusion on his face. "God, you bring me amazing mocha and think I'll let you into my pants, _that's_ a new one. And what the _fuck_ do you think Kaneki will thi–"

His hand lands on her shoulder, somehow, past her gesturing hands. "Touka, please."

"Don't touch me," she snarls, jerking away from him and back into the corner. "I can't believe you, Hideki. You– I'm–" _disgusting. Why can't I just be happy with_ him? _I'm a terrible person, how can I ever–_ "I thought you were a nice person," and she's crying now, she's saying awful things and she should stop but she's so _angry_ – "but you want to mess everything up and you, you won't even get what you–"

"Touka, please stop." He should have shouted, he deserves to, but he says it in a normal tone with anguish on his face, hands raised. "Please let me explain!"

She can't stop. "What is there to explain?" she cries, flinging her arms out. "It's perfectly simple! I'm with Kaneki, you like me, he likes _you_ ," and she chokes out a laugh because that's suddenly clear as day, "and I, I–"

She surges forward and kisses him.

She grabs his shoulders and presses tight against him, and tears are still falling from her closed eyes, and he is warm and soft, and the complete wrongness of this and everything fades into white noise. Somebody moans, and his hands are finally on her back, and her hands sweep up into his hair, and her tongue slides over his lips that taste like coffee.

It's when he opens his mouth against hers, when his hands clutch her skin like he's going to fall, that she pulls back, shock flashing through her. She can't do anything but catch her breath and stare at Hide, who's also panting, his face flushed like hers has to be. She needs to let go of him. She needs to throw herself off the fucking balcony.

She backs away, but he comes with her, still holding her lower back.

"I'm sorry," she says, because the silence has dragged on and it's the right thing to say because she _is_ sorry. Sorry that Hide's fallen for her, sorry to be so hellishly weak, sorry for what she said to him, sorry that she's with someone she doesn't love back because she wouldn't be in this position if she _really_ loved Kaneki, would she.

 _"He likes_ you _…"_ But if that's true, then what–

"Why?" Hide says, softly. He smiles, but his eyes are sad. "I'm not."

She doesn't flinch when he puts a hand on her cheek, even though he really shouldn't do that and she shouldn't let him. But her eyes fall shut just for a second, and suddenly her chin is on his shoulder and his arms are around her upper back, and she returns the embrace even while her mind's processing the why of it.

"I guess I'm a little sorry, though. I ended up doing this totally wrong. Should've waited for Kaneki so we could all talk."

"But patience isn't your strong suit," she mutters, eyes still closed. _Mine either, apparently._

He chuckles. "Not yours this morning, either."

She jerks up to look at him, wondering if he read her mind (and at this point she wouldn't be surprised), but he's just smiling lightly again, damn him.

She pulls free of his arms, about to snipe back, and several things happen in the space of milliseconds: Instinct crackles a moment before she spots Kaneki, and a thousand emotions flare and fade so fast she can't name any, yet they leave her hot and woozy. The look on his face disappears as he focuses on her, but she _saw_ it– a gentle smile, eyes soft, and he'd been looking at them both, at her and Hide, and suddenly she's never wanted anything as badly as she wants to see him look that way again–

"You're finally up," she says, and she ought to win an Oscar for how calm she sounds. She squashes the urge to smack Hide, turning so smoothly with a casual, "Morning." Her stomach's on a rollercoaster so his better damn well be too.

Kaneki nods, stepping onto the balcony. "Seems like you've been up for a while."

She follows his gaze to the empty mugs in the table and nods back. Her arms settle across her torso again; she doesn't feel cold, only tense enough to shatter, so she cuts to the point. "How long have you been watching?"

"Well, I saw you hugging." He shrugs, smiling briefly.

"I'm so–"

Hide speaks at the same time. "I was gonna wait for you but things got, uh, complicated."

Kaneki hums, head tilting at Touka. "Let's go back in. Getting crowded out here."

He turns and Touka follows, Hide behind her; she feels lost enough and being the last one in is just salt in the wound, as silly as that is.

Kaneki gestures to the couch, so they all sit in a line. He looks between them until Touka wants to fidget, or hit something, and then says to Hide, "Do you–"

"No, please, take the reins." Hide puts his hand up with a short laugh. "I've done enough damage– uh! Not damage," he stammers, glancing at Touka, "well maybe a little– not that I regret it, but– I'm just gonna stop talking." He flops back with his face in his hands, giving a small groan.

"So." Kaneki places his hand over Touka's (and she can breathe better, suddenly). "When we were out last night, Hide and I were talking. About a lot of things, including you. It's not the first time we've had that kind of conversation, but we finally decided we were ready to talk to you about something that we–" he swallows, "well, mostly I, have been mulling over a while."

She stays still, watching his face, feeling his hand squeeze hers.

"I love you, Touka, and I want to stay with you. You feel the same, right?"

"Of course." But does she? "Yes, Kaneki, I really–" She stops herself, feeling tears threatening again.

"Thing is, Hideki admitted that he likes you, too. To me, months ago, and I'm guess that's part of what happened on the balcony."

Her mouth opens but she can't make a sound. Her eyes slip to Hide and see he's sitting more upright, gaze intent on a worn spot of the couch.

Kaneki holds up a silencing hand anyway, smiling in an echo of when she caught his eye earlier. "You'd think I'd be jealous, but. I wasn't. I was actually happy, can you believe it?" He says it almost to himself, with a chuckle and a small head-shake. "That was when something crystallized for me, and I'm sorry it's taken– _taking_ – me so long to tell you. But I was thinking," and he takes a deep breath, lets the next words out with it, "that maybe all three of us could try being together."

There it is. Now that he's said it, it's as if the idea's already familiar; at the same time it's utterly foreign. Makes sense and doesn't, is something she wants and isn't. She stares at his hand, makes some sort of noise.

"It's a lot to process, I know." He sounds regretful. "Let me add one more piece. I had a crush on Hide once."

A tiny chortle escapes her despite her wishes. "That isn't exactly a surprise to hear."

" _And…"_ Another hand squeeze. "Turns out it never really went away. I felt guilty when… feelings resurfaced. Especially after you and I started dating. It was so much easier to tell him than you… He'd been fighting the same thing, plus an attraction to you, and–" He sits back with a sigh. "Here we are."

"So." She raises her eyes, focuses on him, aware of Hide's tensing aura next to her. "I'd be… with you. But also Hide. And you two would also be together."

A nod.

"Both of you are okay with that."

" _Very_ okay." Hide, quietly, as Kaneki nods again.

"You… want this."

"Yes," they both say.

She rolls her head to either side, tense muscles loosening. "So it's just me, then." She hunches forward, elbows on knees. "We… we could do this. It's a thing?"

"Polyamory," Kaneki says. "It's definitely a thing, although a bit unusual."

"Even if it weren't a thing, it's a thing if we make a thing." This from Hide. A pause, and then a cough-laugh.

"Hmm." Resting her forehead in her palms, she takes a few deep breaths. If she tries to speak right away, she'll start laughing and won't be able to stop. Then she straightens, looks over Hide and then Kaneki, and says. "Yes." It's too quiet; she says it again. "I– I really, really want this." Because she wants it so suddenly, so badly she can hardly think. Relief wars with elation; there's a name for her feelings, Kaneki and Hide return them… She doesn't know whether to stay still or do cartwheels or let out a very undignified sound, so she sits there shaking for a moment before she hides her face in her hands.

Hide gives a short laugh, and she feels his hand on her shoulder. "Wow. R-Really?"

She can only nod.

"Oh, Touka." Kaneki's hand on her forearm. "I– I'm so happy, I can't… Let me see you, please?"

"How do you think _I_ feel?" It's a half-whine, half-who knows what. She's smiling so widely she must look ridiculous, but she takes her hands away and sees Kaneki's smiling too. The laughter she's been holding back comes out; she tries to talk through it. "You know what's– what's really funny? I just remembered last night, I– I thought 'we should just talk', and w-when I woke up today I _completely_ forgot, and here we are anyway…!"

She wilts against Kaneki, laughter overcoming her.

"Oh, last night." Nervous chuckles from Hide. "Sorry, I hope I didn't do anything untoward."

She flaps a hand at him, still laughing. "It's fine, you were a gentleman."

It takes a while to get her herself under control. Kaneki's arms around her help somewhat, but by the time she stops the shoulder of his t-shirt is damp. She mumbles apologies as she wipes her eyes, attempts to sit up and away from him, then realizes she simply doesn't want to. Not yet. She hugs him back, letting her body soften against his and sighs, a few final chuckles easing out.

"Hide," she says. "Come here."

"Yeah, Hide." Kaneki reaches toward him (she knows from the patch of warmth leaving her back).

She feels the couch shift as Hide moves closer. His knees bump the backs of her legs, and then his chest is against her back and his arms brush her sides as they reach for Kaneki, and she almost wants to cry but has to stifle another noise instead.

"That's right." His voice near her ear sends tingles rippling through her. "We can actually do this now, huh. …Can I…?"

"Please." She smiles at his lips on her cheek, the shift and soft sounds when he kisses Kaneki briefly.

They move all together as Kaneki settles more comfortably. He gives a deep sigh. "I'm so lucky."

"That makes–"

"Three of us," she murmurs, nuzzling Kaneki's shoulder. "Let's stay like this a little longer. Please?"

"Oh, I don't wanna go anywhere," Hide says softly. "You two will just have to wait for my gourmet meal."

"Making us breakfast? How, how nice…" Kaneki half-yawns.

"Special occasion. Right, Touka?"

She hums affirmatively. "No more talking, now."

#####

When she wakes some time later, one leg is asleep, there's a small cramp in her neck, and her arm is tangled with Hide's in an awkward way.

"Ow." Hide grunts. "My bad…"

Then Kaneki wakes and a minute or two of pained noises and ginger movements later they've all separated across the couch.

"Still worth it," says Hide.

Touka nods, stretching her dead leg. "We'll get better with practice."

"Lots and lots of practice," Kaneki says. "Probably several times a week."

"I vote for multiple sessions on weekends." She raises her hand, turning it into a stretch.

"All in– favor," Hide says, pausing for a yawn.

"I can't vote on an empty stomach." Kaneki stands and takes exaggerated strides into the kitchen. "How about some oh my _god_ who went to Tsukiyama's."

"Our boyfriend." She says it without thinking and whips to face Hide, heat rising to her cheeks. She won't take it back, but it's not even been a day…

Hide just grins at her, wider than she's seen it yet. "Hey, Kaneki," he says, slinging an arm across her shoulders, "did you know our girlfriend is super cute when she blushes?"

"Yes, yes I do." He's back with them, lifting Touka's chin so she can't hide under her hair. He beams at her, eyes crinkling. "Maybe we'll get you to blush twice as much now."

He kisses her before she can protest, leaving her dazed and staring as he leans over Hide. "And _you_ deserve a tip for bringing us those amazing treats." He kisses Hide too, then heads back toward the kitchen.

"A double tip," Touka says, kissing Hide's cheek, then his lips and his other cheek for good measure. "Since I never properly thanked you."

He gazes dreamily at her. "That's like, a quintuple tip, but who's cou _ahaha_ stop," he exclaims, as she attacks his neck in kisses, suddenly inspired. "I can't cook for you if you kill me!"

"Good point." She backs off, unable to keep smug satisfaction off her face. "You're pretty cute when you blush, too."

"That–" He stands, a little wobbly. "That is an unfair tactic and I'm gonna go complain to the ref. And also start the eggs."

She follows him to the kitchen, arms swinging thoughtlessly. "We need to all pick one," she says to Kaneki, hurrying a bit when she sees he's eyeing the bag. "You might eat them all."

Kaneki snorts. "I have to leave room for Hide's cooking," he says, lifting a small chocolate croissant delicately. Then to Hide, "Please tell me you got more of these."

"Uh, are you kidding? You forget I'm well-acquainted with the chocolate princess."

"Lies and slander," Touka replies flatly, grabbing another croissant and popping the entire thing into her mouth.

"Okay, mocha maniac."

She considers flipping him off, but the croissant is so good she can barely stand up. "Is it too soon for a proposal?" she asks once she's finished it.

Hide turns to her with a grin but Kaneki speaks first. "First you'll have to duel me." He takes a bite of the croissant and winks. "The winner's prize is choice of movie on the weekend."

"And a kiss from the betrothed," Hide says, brandishing a whisk grandly.

"A tempting prize," she says, licking some chocolate from her lips and watching Hide flush lightly. "Perhaps we should face off at that arcade you two visited yesterday. Say, three of five on Street Fighter IV?"

"Challenge accepted." With a decisive nod, Kaneki turned to the coffee-maker.

"You are going to _love_ Critical Hit, Touka," says Hide. "Half the second floor is pinball machines."

"Two floors? Well, now I really have to go there." She sits on an island stool, elbows on the counter, observing the two of them.

"You two fighting over pinball scores would be quite the sight," Kaneki says over the coffee maker's grumblings.

"Whoa, whoa, we're taking things a bit too quickly." Hide glances over his shoulder by the stove. "You guys have to fight for my honor, or my hand or whatever, and _then_ whoever wins faces me in pinball."

"Pray that Kaneki beats me." Touka smirks, narrowing her eyes. "I'm not looking forward to destroying you, to be honest."

"Tough talk. We'll have to set up another match if Kaneki wins. I wanna see you back up your words."

"There'll be time enough for that," she says, resting her chin in her hands.

"There will, won't there." Kaneki looks at her over the rim of his mug, a slow smile spreading.

She smiles back, happiness unfurling inside her like wings.


End file.
